WHAT IS RAGNAROK?

So February 22, 2014 was RAGNAROK…

Still here? Yup! We all are.

No cataclysm…nothing. That....was too close.

Much like the Mayan prediction and the Rapture, Ragnarok is, fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on who you ask) is all smoke and no fire.

But, had Ragnarok really happened, it would most definitely be ALL SMOKE, ALL FIRE, ALL THE TIME...and we (humans everywhere) would be nothing but ash.

OK, YOU’VE MENTIONED RAGNAROK THREE TIMES NOW, WHAT THE HELL IS IT??

Glad you asked!

Ragnarok, simply put , is the Viking Apocalypse. Predicted by Snorri Sturluson and the Prose Edda, (the manliest book ever spoken through the generations), Ragnarok is a time when the earth would split; releasing all the assholes of the Underworld, and the Great Battle to end this dog and pony show we call existence would commence.

Now, two of the baddest asses in the Apocalypse pants are Fenrir and Jormangundr. 

 Their challengers? Yeah you guessed it, the mighty, the implacable: Thor God of Thunder! and his super sperm-blasting old man, the All Father, Odin!

Just in case you’ve never heard of this pantheon, or watched that awful Marvel film, let’s take a look at this global catastrophe through the eyes of each shall we?

Fenrir:

"Why Grandma...what big...holy shee-it! Nice doggie."

Fenrir is actually a giant wolf and one of the sons of Loki. Which, weirdly enough, makes him the grandson of Odin (and you thought your family was nuts). He was predicted to kill his grandsire at Ragnarok. Fenrir’s rage comes from his natural, savage nature but also from being tricked into wearing a muzzle, Gleipnir by name, because he was too large and growing more out of control every day. For their trouble, the Norse god Tyr got his hand bitten off, Odin becomes kibble, and we all get the lights out treatment.

Weak.

Odin:

“Let a playa play!”

Odin is the one-eyed All Father who started the whole “deity thing” when the world was young. A trickster at heart, a warrior commander by nature, the old fella went around smashing Elsas and Freyas, Geitas and Brunhildas in his youth.  He begat epic all stars like Thor and Vitharr to defend and guide mankind, and the ward the realm of Asgaard from giants and other pieces of demi-god trash.

Astride his might spectral steed, Sleipnir, he steps up to teach Fenrir, his roid-raged canine grandson, all about who really wears the pants in the pantheon then promptly gets swallowed for his trouble. Even his mighty spear, Gungnir, couldn’t get his all powerful ass out of the belly of the beast and for that we all pay the piper.

*Sigh*  

Jormangundr:

His mother was a pissed off giantess, Angrboda. His dad? You guessed it, the Alec Baldwin of Asgaard, the ever-craptastic parent, Loki! This giant-serpent-turned-world-ender was chucked into the ocean, rather carelessly, by Odin when he was young, and, like his brother Fenrir, came back to tear shit up with a vengeance.

At the end of days, his struggle was no Harry Potter-style scuffle with some toothpick that takes him down, no. He rumbles with the mighty God of Thunder himself ,THOR, and holds his own.

In the end, this ornery serpent and THOR kill one another in an epic battle and we get caught in their crazy crossfire.

People! Don't throw your pythons down the sewer! (stupid Florida)   

Thor:

The absolute rock star of Valhalla, this is the dude I want swinging Mjolnir around to defend my mortal ass when things get dicey. The god of thunder (and smashing Asgaard Valkyries like a true bro) is the son of All Father Odin and defender of the realm against all things nasty. Despite what the terrible Marvel film has showed us, Thor is the ultimate dick-swinging, hammer throwing, lightning-wielding badass who would eat that tin can destroyer thing for lunch.

With his golden flowing locks (no homo) he runs into any fight - alongside the legendary warriors of Valhalla - to take on all comers and makes it look easy. Now, as epic as the his Thundership is, Jormangundr, his serpentine nephew, winds his way around the world and schools his uncle on how world breaking is done.

Never to be too outshined in a vicious cock fight, though, Thor stills goes down like champ, bringing the giant snake (and the human race and all the other realms, unfortunately) to his non-existent knees.

The Real Ragnarok:

When the true end of days comes, I hope to face it bravely myself and make my ancestors proud. To do this, I am going to need some good food, good mead, and a giant steel fistful of Fuck Yeah (thanks Zombie tools)!

And I think this is a great place to start:

 

What will be your gear when Ragnarok comes to town?

Starfire's Viking Sword

Recently, I visited my local Renaissance faire, as I did when I was child, and had an amazing experience. My brother and I were walking along, enjoying meat and mead and all kinds of Medieval festivities, when suddenly, I came upon the Starfire Smithy.

Now normally, these swords - as beautiful as they are (and they are spectacular) - just aren't what I am searching for in a weapon. However, it is said, when love wants to, it will find you. The hand-forged, oil-hardened object of my undying affection was the relatively new addition to their line: the 31" Viking Sword:

I walked over. I picked her up. I held her close. And, she asked for my hand. Our souls, and the souls of my unborn sons, had spoken. We were to be one.

Sadly (happily, love ya hun!), as I write this, I am promised to another. Two others, in fact. With the birth of my first child in April, I am saving every penny I have to make sure he/she has a wonderful education and that they want for nothing.

I know the price tag, around $500, will keep us apart, and that my allocating funds such as these will not be possible.

(It never is, right men?)

But, THERE IS HOPE.

Much like the famous Battle of Maldon, I still want to cast one more die to fate and see if my fellow swordsmen - and anyone that has had a dream deferred - will support me in my efforts!

I have decided to bow before the great charity of others - and the gods of Asgaard - to obtain this amazing steel and build:

"MY VERY OWN HEIRLOOM FUNDRAISING PAGE"

Through GoFundMe.com, I know that making my dream of Viking steel ownership is within my grasp, and within the grasp of my great and future family. I know that I will - one day - pass this imperishable steel treasure to my son or daughter and tell them the great tale of its origin.

This is my dream.

I am counting on YOU to forge it into reality.

May the All Father watch over you and give blessings to your generosity and your days!

MAN AT ARMS

We all love to handle swords. That’s a given. The look, the feel, the shape, even the smell of the steel gets the juice running to the very best places and gives us a unique rush.

But, what gets them from lumps of steel to exquisite works of art that give us unparalleled protection and endless enjoyment? And, don’t take the easy way out and say Kult of Athena! That’s too simple.

I think the better answer reaches back to a time when a certain group of people were invaluable to everyday society. A place and time when striding destriers thundered across the field and required iron shoes, a time when fields needed to be plowed with shares, and of course, a time when swords, glorious swords, and armor needed to be forged from molten steel.

The answer, of course, is the blacksmith.

For thousands of years, these men and women have harnessed the power of the sun to melt and shape the hardest substances on earth into stunning pieces of art for our giddy enjoyment and ever-growing collections. In this modern day, we still pay forges and swordsmiths thousands, literally, thousands of dollars to bend and hammer, mold and meld, solder and grind intricate pieces of metal – of every color, alloy, and hardness - to fit our weapon tastes and styles.

And, in my experience, there is one that truly stands out about the rest. That man is Tony Swatton from Sword and Stone in Burbank, CA.

Swatton has created a YouTube series called “Man At Arms,” which masterfully creates famous swords and weapons from Hollywood and fantasy. Among his more amazing works (which have earned him 11.5 million views on YouTube) are:

• The Sword of Omens from Thundercats
• Jamie Lannister’s Sword from Game of Thrones
• The Master Sword from the Legend of Zelda
• Gimli’s Axe from Lord of the Rings
• An Orcish Axe from Skyrim
• And even the 2D Diamond Minecraft sword from the game!

Swatton and his team complete these masterpieces using old school hammers - from way before any of us were born (we’re talking 18th century stuff) - and today’s most modern technology. They have also created swords on a professional, and not just retail, level for some of the best main stream movies in Hollywood (think Zorro and others).

Simply put, the man is a big, burly genius and his SwordSpeak is mesmerizing. His videos (over 6 minutes of dream forging and a tremendously satisfying “in-action” payout at the end) are incredible. Like creating life after acing a chemistry test, the journey is beyond meticulous and painstakingly slow but delivers an unrivaled sense of  satisfaction. I have watched every episode from Season 1 and cannot wait to see what Season 2 has in store.

Check out the full videos below and experience what I am saying for yourself. I’m more than confident you’ll be leaving little droplets of steel-inspired drool spittle all over your keys:

The Higgins Armory Museum to Close??

I had planned to bring this blog out of semi-retirement (as I have not posted in almost a year, unfortunately) to write about the latest craze, Zombies, and how we deal with it, but I think for the newest post, this is more important. It would seem that after 82 years of bringing us some of the finest pieces in from hallowed antiquity, the Higgins Armory Museum in Worchester, MA is going to close on December 31, 2013.

THE END OF HIGGINS?? (IN WRITTEN FORM)

This is a very sad day on a number of levels for any fan of the sword, especially myself. The Higgins Armory Museum not only holds a collection of over 500 individual pieces of swords and armor in its collection, but also houses them in one of the finest castle-like structures, complete with Great Hall, I have had the pleasure to visit. We had a beer festival there. See “Ale and Mail” post.

This place holds so much more than just steel. It is a place for children who were born in the wrong era, who wanted to be knights, warriors, and soldiers can see what it could have been like: to dress in the armor of a knight, to hold the sword (safely) perhaps for the first time, and to reenact fascinating ancient military formations. Millions of children warriors, yet unborn, in the countless generations to come, will never get to do this now. Millions will have to wait, hoping, piecemeal, that some sword and armor exhibition will rear its shining head so they can indulge.

It’s tragic. It’s sad. It should not happen. But, as the knights of Europe and the Samurai gave way to the drone, so must these monuments of chivalry give way to....parking lots...fast food places, and other such squalid piles of garbage that will never know how lucky they are to be standing or how disgusting they look in comparison.

However, all is not lost...yet. There is a Facebook group (Save The Higgins), and a legitimate website (Also, Save the Higgins) that is trying to keep it alive. These donation pages, that we can all visit, and make our contribution to, keep this temple to Athena open and running. It keeps the children interested. It keeps the memory of valor, honor, and dedication learning of hand-to-hand combat alive.

Though the board has decided through a vote (one I was not at personally, again, most unfortunate) I, have taken it upon myself to construct a strongly worded letter (innocuous?) and plan to send this letter to every arts grant sponsor and government official I am able to find an email for.

“Good afternoon, My name is Michael Terry and I am writing to you on behalf of the Higgins Armory Museum. It has been brought to my, and the citizens of Massachusetts, that the 82-year old iconic Higgins Armory Museum will be closing on December 31, 2013 if either an alternative plan, or funding can be found to keep the museum open. As a lover of the arts and the culture in our state, I would like nothing more than to prevent such an occurrence and keep this monument to the medieval steel arts alive and well. I know as members of the arts communities and as an organization in charge of financing such projects, you would agree. I would ask that you review the plight of this family run organization and contribute any sort of monetary donations and/or grant money that you can. The task seems overwhelming, but this beloved shrine to artistic world cannot be parceled into other museums and locations, where it can be dissected and eventually made obsolete. For more information, visit http://savehiggins.org/ or contact Ralph Tilllinghast at savehiggins@gmail.com or via phone at: 862-268-1514. Thank you for your kind attention Sincerely, Michael Terry”

We have until December 31, 2013, dear friends, and fellow warriors. Let us try and stand for this hallowed house of the sword, until it becomes relegated to the dreaded “Remember when…”

BATTLE READY HADHAFANG (SWORD OF ARWEN)

Very exciting! Someone finally took to the time to reconstruct the sword of Arwen, Hadhafang, made oh so famous in the the Lord of the Rings movie, the Fellowship of the Ring, in a functional, full tang, slice-up-your-dinner-then-eat-it-for-you kind of way!

TraditionalArcheryBows.com (I know, it's terrible, was EVERYTHING else taken?) has done some amazing pieces in the past and I am always thrilled to death when they create something both functional and beautiful. They are true craftsmen of the highest order with some amazing videos on their site.

Now, that being said, it is true that this version of Hadhafang lacks the elvish grace and whimsical aesthetic of Tolkien's faery folk, but, put to the test, no doubt this thing would take down a tree.

I, for one, am all aboard to save Frodo's midget behind at the ford of a river, or chop some useful kindling (sacrilegious for a swordsman, I know) using this hunk of steel and wood that certainly wasn't built for any lady I know.

Darksword Armory Guardian Sword

Good evening loyal fans and readers! After a long hiadus, as I was planning, executing, and celebrating a wedding seven years in the making, I am back and typing away for your love, my practice and all of our amusement. I am very happy to say that I am now a husband, truly, I believe, a man and have taken on the sacred and time-honored mantle of THE GUARDIAN.

Michelle, my incredible wife, has entrusted me with the guardianship of her heart, her love and her well being for the rest of her life, not to mention our small, yet paramount family. It is an incredible feeling, really; being chosen, out of 7 billion other people on the planet to serve as protector, defender and compatriot. It has all I have ever strived for, really, and I am truly honored.

My Small Army

In as matches my new appointment as GUARDIAN, my best friends, and best man, decided to reach back to hallowed antiquity and present me with a truly extraordinary gift to match my station.It the treasure that I have drooled over for months. I have written about it. I have viewed it countless times online, seen movies, dreamed about it, pretended my wooden waster was made of shining steel, and at long last, I own it. At long last, THE GUARDIAN from Darksword Armory is in my grasp...forever.

CUE THE MUSIC FROM EXCALIBUR

More beautiful than I could ever dream of, the GUARDIAN sword comes in refined, yet raw and powerful brown leather, much like the gritty wrap you would find on the battlefield. It's rock solid construction is surpassed only by its incredible aesthetics and original design. The entire sword handles like a dream, but the blade is simply the perfect length and balance.

Couple that with the amazingly sturdy, supple, integrated leather scabbard and this steel masterpiece works as well on a hike through the mountains as it does as a display piece on your wall.

But what has vindicated all my waiting and saving, my not spending money on the purchase of this glorious glaive, was what made this weapon a truly epic gift worthy of an imperishable song:

THE DATE OF MY WEDDING

REGULATORS! MOUNT UP!

The devil, as it were, is in the details. Along with my glorious new bride, this sword truly is a conduit of my true self and a jewel in the crown of my life.

Darksword Armory: Guardian vs. Carpathian Sword, The Purchase

Two weapons, both alike in design and construction: full tang, incredibly strong, expertly made. So much so, choosing between the two has been the subject of my internal debate for many months now. I have come to the conclusion that when I purchase one of these two magnificent weapons it will have to be due to the excellent advice of my peers, yourselves, my brothers and sisters of the sword.

Ladies and gentlemen, the choice is before us:

GUARDIAN OR CARPATHIAN?

The Guardian

The Carpathian

Normally, when making a decision about a sword purchase, it is very simple. You see which sword catches your eye, appeals most to your honed sense of aesthetics, is constructed by the most reputable armorers for the best price and then pull the trigger. However, in the last half a year, I have been doing much more eBay selling and money saving than making any purchases.

I am getting married in July!

Anyone want to buy me one as a wedding present? LOL

Though ecstatic that another human being (my exquisite fiance) has chosen to spend their life with me (a fact that thrills me to the marrow), I have been charged with saving a nearly insurmountable cash reserve of $12,000 to pay my share of the wedding. Savings plans like that don't exactly leave inexhaustible pockets of $350 for swords.

But, once again the good Lord sees me out of the corner of his eye and watches out for my sword-buying habits. I have recently, as of November of 2011, switched jobs from a low-earning copywriter for a small-time Concierge company to commission-banking sales shark for a multinational travel conglomerate. This change in lifestyle provides me with certain perks and is exactly the reason why, my devoted readers, I have not posted in over 3 months. Also, this new gig is how I WILL be able to save the money I need. It feels good to be writing again, and even better that it is about swords.

SO LET'S GET DOWN TO IT!

The Guardian:

Jason Woodard's original design, married with Darksword Armory's meticulous creative steel innovations, inspires strong feelings of honor, righteousness, strength and mystical heroism. This amazing, full-tang fantasy sword would undoubtedly be carried, over the shoulder, by some ranger general in defiance of great evil. It is a sword every fan of the genre should own.

The breakdown:

• Overall Length: 43 inches Blade length: 31 3/8 inches
• Blade Material: Tempered 1060 carbon steel
• Weight: 5 lb 1.6 oz
• Point of Balance: 4 inches
• Grip Length: 8 1/4 inches
• Pommel: Peened

LET'S SEE IT IN ACTION:







Initial Impressions: Though a pound heavier than its Eastern European counterpart, this sword radiates strength and durability. It is truly a warrior's blade; less finesse (though not totally devoid of it) but much more stopping power. ALSO (ADDED BONUS) the sword can have a custom green handle wrap!

VERY TEMPTING!

THE CARPATHIAN:

Again, Jason Woodard comes through with a totally original, awe-inspiring design. The Carpathian resembles the Guardian in hilt construction but has some particularly unique differences. It is a sleek, stylish, steel individual. The pommel, for instance, resembles that of a more Norse construction, with leaf-lobed shape. This could be more useful in not losing grip on the sword.

The Breakdown:

• Overall Length: 42 3/4'' Blade: 31 1/2''
• Blade Material: Tempered 1060 carbon steel
• Weight: 4 lb 2 oz
• Point of Balance: 2 and 3/8 inches
• Grip Length: 8 inches
• Pommel: Peened

Initial Impressions: The Carpathian is incredibly appealing due its long, leaf-bladed, streamlined construction. Whereas the Guardian almost fails to taper down into the tang and handle; potentially making it vulnerable at the intersections between handle and blade, the Carpathian is thinner, lighter and quite tapered. This makes me believe that none of these dangerous intersections exist.

LETS SEE THIS BAD BOY IN ACTION:





FINAL (NOT REALLY) VERDICT: I believe the Guardian will be my initial purchase.

Though slightly more expensive, I believe this sword is built for the heaviest cutting and steel-on-steel combat. The tang is a small concern, but I have no doubts that Eyal and the rest of the master craftsmen at Darksword have compensated for this with the hardness potential hazard with overall durability for the blade and furniture.

The Carpathian is a beautiful finesse blade for sure and I love it. And, because it comes from the same designers, Darksword Armory, I have no doubt of its quality and durability. The only discounting factors are that the sword is a little lighter and I was never really into the whole "vampire inspired" design for my weapons. I don't know that Vlad the Impaler would carry such a weapon (though he should have) against the Turks.

LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS! THANKS ALL!

(IF YOU ARE LOOKING TO BUY ONE FOR ME AS A WEDDING GIFT. BECAUSE YOU ARE AWESOME, YOU CAN SEND IT TO MIKE TERRY, 80 MEDITERRANEAN DRIVE, WEYMOUTH, MA 02188)