Shipping Swords

I have heard in tales across the Internet that there is a monumental shift in the way people spend their hard earned money. Most are not going out to buy the newest and greatest Apple gadget right off of the shelf. They aren't investing their money in gold and oil as people have done in previous shaky economies of yesteryear. No, their investment is in creation, in remembrance, in the genesis of life long memories through unforgettable travel to foreign, exotic locations.

Think about this. You purchase something collectible. It's beautiful. It's tangible. You can hold it, feel it. It's a showpiece. It showcases part of yourself and your soul, who you are just past the surface.

But then, after a while, it becomes something different. You change.

You take it off the wall to make room for something new. You wrap it up in noisy bubble paper, put it in the corner or under the bed. Eventually, whatever this thing was to you has completely changed and eventually collects dust in your attic, your basement, or the dark recesses under the bed. Your desire is still there, but the possessiveness ebbs away.

It's not that you're a bad person. It's not that you aren't grateful for the work that went into said thing that meant so much once upon a time. You have just outgrown whatever it is that you were holding onto, and now you are looking for something better, something that has no expiration date. The mind's escape at the office. Your now favorite story. The all impressive "yeah, I've been there. Went last year. Beautiful."

So, when Shelley, my lovely fiance (we're marrying next July), and Mr. Rob Stewart, my very best friend (getting married in less than a month) let me know that there were ways in which we NEEDED to celebrate right and proper, I knew that sacrifices for immortality had to be made. And, those transcendent experiences weren't going to pay for themselves.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have a decent paying job. But I knew all the overtime in the world wasn't going to give me what I needed. $2500 for this, $20,000 for that, trip to NYC for one last hurrah? Why not! It adds up, and fast. I knew that haste was needed and I knew that the showpieces I had collected since I was 16 years old were just collecting dust.

It wasn't easy, but I decided, as I had purchased almost all my collection from Ebay and from the SBG Swordbuyers Guide (SBG) For Sale pages, at less than market cost, that I would just sell sword back into the market.

My Global Gear Solingen Broadsword.

$100.

No big deal. I don't remember how much I paid for it before college and I didn't care. With all the money I spent on "good beer" senior year at UNH (shudder), I could afford to take a minor dip on the return.

The sword sold in a day.

There is nothing better than that message "YOU'RE ITEM SOLD!" from Ebay when you open your email. You finally have that warming streak of good luck all over and that little smile at the edge of your mouth. It's the best single malt you'll ever taste.

I was in! If selling pieces that weren't really my style to begin with, pieces that were simply collecting dust in an attic was this easy, they all had to go:

Eye of Balor Sword from Windlass Cutlery:

$131!!

12th Century Broadsword from Darksword Armory:

$223!!

VERY RARE Icingdeath Sword of Drizzt Do'Urden Windlass Cutlery

$255!!

High Elven King Sword Gen 2 (1st Edition, rare):

$296!!

Generation 2 Excalibur Sword (Very Rare, Discontinued):

$350!!!

Total Profit: $1355.00

With millions on Ebay, and thousands on SBG, it was like fishing with dynamite. Collectors, backyard cutters, man cave decorators, they all knew from the descriptions (essential!!) that my swords were the real deal.

But, with every sale, came the big question: How was I going to ship these? USPS had no boxes, and frowned upon shipping weapons (metallic wall art) across state lines. FedEx wanted and extra $20 to make me a custom box. UPS only had boxes big enough for one handers. Come on. This is America! I don't ever have to leave the house again if I don't want to, and you're telling me I can find a long cardboard box? There's got to be a better way.

So, looking for solace and an answer to my query, I posted a question to my Bretheren of Steel on the almighty Facebook and got the an overwhelming response "Just make them. Try the Home Depot."

Manna from heaven.

The place is a warehouse after all. 90 percent of their materials are home construction pieces, long, skinny plywood and plastic siding the require long heavy duty cardboard boxes that can withstand the rigors of interstate travel. Exactly what I was looking for.

"Hey, what do you guys do with the empty cardboard boxes?"

"Eh, we crush em and throw them out to be recycled."

"Mind if I grab a couple boxes from over here? You guys don't sell them (Progress Lighting Recessed Lighting Accessory, Pro-Optic T-Bar Hanger Bars boxes fit even the longest swords) by the box do you?"

"Nah, we dont. Go ahead. Knock yourself out."

Sweet!! Free shipping materials! I walked right out of that Home Depot with two perfectly sized boxes for sword shipping. The best part was, it was all free!

Later, I slapped some free newspaper (many cities have free news publications that you can use as packing fodder to keep the sword from bouncing around) inside of those boxes, slapped some packing tape around the top, and she was good to go.

Now, I will say this, if a sword does not fit, you are going to have one hell of time MAKING a box to fit the dimensions. Make sure you have the following essential materials in order to create a wider/longer/more accommodating box for any size sword:

• Long sections of cardboard, approximately 5 feet in length
• Plenty of extra cardboard for mistakes and packing
• Two 22-yard packing tape rolls (clear or brown the best, dont use duct tape)
• Standard box cutter(scissors suck on cardboard)
• Free newspaper for packing
• Ventilation (box making is sweaty work)
• Patience (see previous point)

Yes, your house will look like this:

But when you are cruising along on your honeymoon in the Mediterranean Sea, or sharing a jail cell in New York City because your friend punched the midget at the donkey show/bachelor party, I think you'll agree that it was totally worth the mess.

The Monopoly on Sword Posts

Sword related photo of the day:

Epic

The Top 10 Movie Swordfights...That You Have Never Seen!

My current situation, it's not all bad. In fact, a wise person keeps telling me everything happens for a reason and maybe this change will be great. I like to believe that as well as she does. When these things happen, I am all about the silver lining. And, in my travels across the Internet looking for ways to pay bills on time, I often take little side trips for blog ideas. From these small soirees, and from the compounded learning of the wise, I give you:

THE TOP 10 MOVIE SWORD FIGHTS...THAT YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN!

If you are looking for Kill Bill, Braveheart, Gladiator, the Princess Bride, or Crouching Tiger, I invite you to hit up Google and the hundreds of movie buff websites that will show you everything that everyone else will. But, if you have a little yearning for variety and something new, the next 10 minutes or so could be very enlightening. I'll keep my opinions to a couple of sentences. Promise. Enjoy!

10) ROBIN VS. THE SHERIFF

There's just something about a geriatric James Bond taking out the guy who played Quint from Jaws (Robert Shaw) that warms my heart



9) THE SOVEREIGN'S SERVANT

Foreign film makers always take the time to try and equal up to their US counterparts. Take some notes Michael Bay



8) EL CID: CHARLTON HESTON VS. THE CHAMPION OF ARAGON

You can take Andalusia from his cold...dead...hands!



7) DUEL TO THE DEATH

Like mixing your roast beef with cap'n crunch. It's ridiculous but oh so much fun.



6) PREDATORS

Some blade combat between interstellar badasses



5) GAME OF THRONES

It's very easy to lose sight of the fact, with all of the nakedness, big speeches, feelings, and skullduggery, that Game of Thrones has some pretty epic fight scenes.





4) THE HUNTED

Self...Induced...Facelift...yikes





3) EQUILIBRIUM

What is "gun-kata??"



2) DIE ANOTHER DAY

A dapper MI:6 Irishman sword fights a North Korean despot turned English socialite...the only thing that makes sense is Madonna's corset being undone.





1) KINGDOM OF HEAVEN

Rise a knight...I think I just did

Leaving the Schola St. George

The economy never sends you written warning first. It's always quick. It is always remorseless. It is always so final, and it always leaves you searching for ways to "trim the fat." Sometimes its heading out to dinner, not golfing every Sunday, removing that one guilty pleasure of yours that helps you to save whatever you can in order to have "emergency cash" should something go south.

Well two weeks ago, a certain place, for personal security reasons I'm not going to say which one, announced that they were taking a certain operation, to a certain town very away from me, to which I would have to drive 4 hours a day.

Needless to say I was less than thrilled. But, in the wake of this little hiccup, I found myself doing 2 two things: putting my entire life to paper in short succinct little sentences and second looking at my daily life and making my own very tough cuts.

After approximately nine months with the Schola St. George, I had to tell them that I was going to cut back on the sword lessons that I loved so well. To save needed cash, I would need to miss more than a few lessons and they wouldn't be seeing my for some time. It was not an easy decision by any means but Charles, my Instruttore, God bless the man, was very understanding:

"We understand that family and loved one come first. If you ever want to de-stress, and come back, we can waive the floor fee. Good luck, and I will reach out to my contacts for you."

What a guy...

So now, that I am bit further than I wanted to be from the Schola, I find my transition has taken me from this:

to something more along the lines of this:

Western Martial Arts Sparring Gear

My last post was in February. Most bloggers keep at it day in and day out, but with the sword industry being such a niche (to say the least) hobby/lifestyle/obsessive passion, keeping up daily becomes a bit of chore. Plus, there were some smaller things keeping my attention, I started selling things on EBay, put in a new lawn at my old house, oh, and my engagement to my beautiful girlfriend of 5 years, you know, no big deal.

  

But amidst all this crazy work and changes there have been some very interesting developments in the my little microcosm of steel: the graduation of from Zugadore to Compagno in the Schola St. George, and the purchase of all my vital training equipment.

While a Zugadore, these are the people who come for a few lessons, "players" really, and then decide learning the medieval forms from Fiore are not for them, can borrow equipment, it is a requirement for a Compagno, literally someone you "break bread with," a brother, to have his own swords (plural) and protective equipment.  I have seen men and women come and go from this class, and shrink from this challenge, frequently, for what would seem valid reasons. If you aren't 1) serious about learning a complicated martial art, 2) don't have the extra cash to spend on lessons and equipment, then consider yourself weeded out my wayward warrior. 

This class, as I am only now REALLY learning, is no joke.

My self serving sojourn (with saving for an engagement ring, I have had very few spending sprees) began back in my beginning, say January 2011, when I was told I needed to buy a wooden practice sword. I had seen them advertised on KOA and other places, but I decided to go the EBay route. 

Big mistake. I thought I was getting a great deal. But, as the axiom goes, and it rings so true, "you get what you pay for." Take a look at what they sent me for the "two-for-ten" sale:

 I know. Just awful. The sword is bent. It curves to the left. It's held together with tiny nails and glue, and, if the first photo is any indication, someone might have used it as a bong at one point. Totally Frankenstein's dick. I was devastated. But, in truth, I kind of deserved it.

Rather than suffer the embarrassment, I borrowed my teacher's sword again, but this time ASKED where I could go to get the good stuff. Answers all lead me here:

$95 (yes, for a wooden sword guilty) later, I had the real deal. I had the only practice sword I would ever need. I was thrilled. See what I mean:

Sleek. Stylish. STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW. This thing was something a man could be proud to bring to battle (mock). So, as I practiced, learned Elephant Plays, Poste, and the medieval forms and counters of Fiore, I began to plan out the rest of my gear and how I would set aside the cash. 

You cannot, as stipulated in the by-laws of the Schola, practice with just a wooden sword and a smile. You need the following at least to begin to spar:

• Helmet
• Gloves
• Gambeson (think big padded sword sweater to protect your vitals)
• Gorget (what is a "Gorget"??)
• Nice pair of medieval Nikes (optional but optimal)
• Synthetic Sparring Sword (to prevent serious injury. The kiss of a cherry wood sword to the head sucks!)

Now, for someone who holds down a decent job (and pays decent bills) these items wouldn't seem to be too much of strain on the wallet right? Well, as honed as my bargain hunting skills are (thanks mom), there comes a point where a man says "Leave the shopping to the mad women at Marshalls, lets just get this done."

You're the boss: 

$85

$45

$115

$60

$95

$80

Oh, and to tie it all together, it is best to buy a sword bag too to carry your weapons:

$60

And that's it for the Sparring Set...$700 later. I think I will be OK as soon as the debit card and my PayPal account stop smoking. Then comes the Steel Set...I cant even imagine...

But, this is nothing new to the world of Western Martial Arts. In the Middle Ages, only the wealthiest nobles could become knights. It wasn't because their incredible bravery and man-prowess was greater than the common mud man, working to support his lack of contraception, no, it was because he could afford it. The medieval knight had to pay for horse, armor, sword, squire, lance, secondary weapons (axe, mace, etc), food, lodgings, gifts, tournament entries, weapons master's training, jousting trainers, horse trainers, and a host of other things that made him the PGA all star of 15th Century Europe. If he did well, he might win a purse, but nothing close to paying all of his expenses. That came from daddy, and then, eventually, when daddy died, he held the purse strings.  

Course, they did get all the medieval trim for all their spending. My  fiance doesn't bother to let  people know I am "warrior."

For all my nickel and diming in this post, I love it. Money is nothing but numbers on a page. It can be taken away so easily and there is always a way to make more. 

But, what you earn, yourself, through sacrifice, effort, and devotion, cant be weighed. It can't be bought. Most importantly, it can NEVER be taken away. 

  

Fiore Liberi's Flower of Battle

The experience of last Thursday's class (Feb 10) was the core, heart, and soul of Fiore's transcendence into the modern age. So much more than a warm and heartfelt hello to new students, and a luke warm rerun through all of the Fiore elements to date, this class THE medieval schooling of the sword. The other Zugadore, that is snot-nosed recruits (but we try) weren't able to attend. Whatever their reasoning, I was not overly concerned.

One after another, they showed up: Charles, our Intrusttore, Noah, Senior Scholaro Swordsman, and owner of full knightly harness (sword, armor, the works), and Sean Delany, Senior Compagno of the SSG Boston. To put it in perspective, and not to sound like a girl gone back stage at American Idol, it would be like a night of crime fighting with Batman, Wolverine, Jesus, and Thor, Norse God of Thunder. That's right, justice and titties everywhere! Ha Za!







Yeah, just like that..or something...

The point is, I was studying under the direct tutelage of the masters (we frown upon that term at the SSG because no one can ever really be "master") of the school. There was no frilly nonsense this time. It was all business.

Charles and I had a little Q + A session:

"What poste would you take if I did this (standing in a Tuta Porte Di Ferro)?" he asked

"I would do...this??" said I rather sheepishly whilst throwing my sword awkwardly in front of my body. I had NO idea what stance to awkwardly launch myself into.

I knew it was a test and I blew it. But, I can't really be tested on things I havent learned yet. Right? Turns out, Fiore Liberi had a number of counter-poste for each of the 12 that would give one combatant the upper hand, or at least not sacrifice his position (and subsequently, his life). I was amazed to learn this at first, but then I remebered this was a sophisticated medieval martial art not some spur of the moment sorority pillow fight.

In the "Flower of Battle," Fiore's manuscript, there are excellent illustrations for rookies to follow and learn from. These planned actions, reactions, counters to the reactions, are the corner stones of Fiore's form.







Counterstrike: Mission Accomplished.

It was now time to discover the animal within. And before you get all weird with visions of "Spartacus: Gods of the Arena" - type shenannigans, Fiore developed what are known as the "Animal Virtues" to determine the strengths of each swordsman

• The Lynx - A master of strategy, your counters will be perfectly timed and perfectly calculated. Your tool is the compass.
• The Tiger - You are lightning fast. Your hands move as quickly as your thoughts and your sword clashes against armor, sword, and flesh in one long glorious note of battle. Your tool is the arrow.
• The Elephant - Your legs are unshakeable. Your form is perfect. You are the rock and armies break themselves on you like water. You are the immovable object and keep. Your tool is the tower.
• The Lion - You are a beast! You have the heart and courage to overcome any obstacle with great fervor and energy. You take the fight to your opponent with no regard for death, only victory. You could die at any moment, and in that moment, your life as a warrior would be complete. Your tool is the heart.

I was baffled. I was awe struck. I had heard of signs and symbols before of course, the Chinese zodiac, astrological signs, ect, but never in regard to the sword! What a rush!

The lion. No doubt about it. I was born under the Leo sign. All my life, I have always jumped head long into adversity (sometimes not really thinking it through).

"The Lion!" I piped. "I'm definitely the lion."

"Soon, with our help, you will come to be all four," said Charles with more solemnity than I expected.

Really? Was I a knight templar at that moment? Yes! Was I a samurai sitting with the 47 Ronin? Hellz yeah! Was I at Thermopylae at that one second in time? Aaaa ooo!!! That Miagi-magic was all mine that night. I never could have imagined such a Thursday in Watertown, MA.

A Fond Farewell

Last Thursday’s (Feb. 3) class was interesting because we shifted gears to an entirely new weapon. It was Jarkko’s, one of our senior member's, last night with us in the US until he went off to Switzerland forever where his knowledge of weapons and combat would be utterly wasted on the indigenous population. Coincidently, his weapon of choice is the poleaxe.



Described by Charles and Jarkko as “two swords at once” this gigantic two handed weapon was a splendid mash-up of ass kickery that used a crushing combination of hammer or axe head (sometimes both), sharp, pointed spike, and 6 feet of wooden staff. It was widely used in Europe during the 13th to 16th centuries to overcome the obstacle of heavy plate armor. Infantry needed something to crush the steel shell of mounted knights in heavy plate and not get their heads knocked in at the same time. Naturally, this was the way to go.



The sword didnt have the reach or the stopping power. The spear was meh, ok, but not scary enough to make a noble soak his codpiece. The Pattons of the day figured “What’s more badass than an axe, a hammer, and a spike mounted on top of 6, 8, 10 feet of hard wood?” This thing was the Swiss army knife of disgruntled medieval Europe.

Plus, Fiore was a big fan. So, we learned.

The experience was entertaining but nothing like the sword. The weapon itself was more cumbersome, unbalanced (I feel), and slower than the sword but more effective for shock-and-awe swings. More reminiscent of the standard issue for inept guards with no name tags, the poleaxe was used more as defensive, unlearned weapon, with little style, and looked pretty in formations. It was and is a blunt instrument meant to attack at a distance, unlike the finesse and acquired skill of a sword that's used to out maneuver your opponent. I’ll wager it gave the sword wielder a run for his money, but it's doubtful that it took ages to master.



After a lot of sneaky, hockey-style hooking moves, fake downward chops, delicious homemade cookies (for the bon voyage party), and running through the poste of the poleaxe, the night was drawing to a close. It was time to say our farewells to Jarkko with a warm handshake and a team photo.

Saying my goodbyes, I didn’t really to know what to think. I didn’t really know my Finnish friend (if he can be called that) too well, but first impressions and the four weeks he spent as one of my teachers told me he was a good guy and well on his way to being a master of the sword. I know that his absence robs us Zugadore (beginners) of vital Fiore teachings and interpretations, and that’s never a good thing. But, much as it tends to do, life continues, and others take the place where they must.

Hopefully, I will be among them...