Ronin Katana Euro Longsword #5 (Maybe)(Discontinued)

 

Summer Sword Sale 2022

 

SUMMER SALE 2023 SWORDS 

LEGACY ARMS/GEN2 CRUSADER SWORD (DISPLAY & PARTS ONLY)

DISCONTINUED DSA CARPATHIAN (DISPLAY & PARTS ONLY)

THANKS FOR LOOKING! 

Zombie Tools Felon & Fixed Blade Fanatics

I love knives. Always have. 

From the time I learned to whittle my first stick with a small Swiss army knife (I cut myself DEEP) to yesterday when I cut away a truly stubborn knot on my daughter’s dress, their look and utility have always been just downright appealing in all the right ways.

After all, they’re small swords, right? And, don’t they make the perfect pairing to your favorite long sword, rapier, or katana? 

Oh yes.

They’re the most primitive and yet the most sophisticated of tools. In the kitchen, in the fishing boat, in the woods - they’re your trusty sidearm, and one of the only things between you and straight-up starvation.

In our dreams, they’re daggers in the dark. They can build and destroy empires (Et Tu, Brute?). They can be as simple or as elaborate as your imagination allows, and men, women and kids the world over can’t get enough of them to the tune of BILLIONS of dollars, annually.

So when our favorite purveyors of fist full of fuck yeah at Zombie Tools made an American Bowie Knife design, I fell instantly in love. The Bowie Knife was already legendary to me, of course, having learned about its rise to glory when I was like 6 years old oh so long ago, but ZT’s monstrous unique take on it was more than anything I could have hoped for.

The Zombie Tools Felon Bowie

Do a simple search on a site like KnifeCenter.com and you get a broad array of options for your garden-variety Bowies. They’re all lovely to look at, and all fall within certain parameters, despite their unique designs:

· Overall Length: 12 to 16.5 inches
· Blade Length: 7.0 to 11 inches
· Weight: 11.6 to 27.3oz
· Some Kind of Clip Point

Boker Magnum, SVORD, SOG, Condor Knife & Tool, Schrade, they all said:

“Great. Bowies. Simple. Easy. Awesome”

And put out their product.

Well and good…

But the boys at Zombie Tools chose to walk a different path. Their take on the Bowie, The Felon, is designed to filet trout and one-swipe tree branches with equal efficiency, as well as brown the shorts of anyone unfortunate enough to get into any kind of fight with its wielder.

Zombie Tools Felon Stats: 

To be perfectly honest, The Felon is more short sword than a bladed belt accessory. It flaunts its length and heft with confidence and swagger while simultaneously offering ZERO chance of easy concealment. If you’re fan of hassle-free open carry or subtle EDC knives, this one may not be for you:

· Total Length: 19.5 in.
· Blade Length: 12.75 in.
· Handle Length: 6.5 in.
· Steel Thickness: .25 in.
· Weight: 2lbs 2oz
· Steel Type: 5160

Get to the Choppah! 

But for all her size, is she a reliable knife? Extra thicc and big-boned (how I like em), sure, but how’s the edge? Single bevel? How does it stand up to its tasks and represent the ZT name against tougher targets?

Glad you asked:

Should I Buy the Zombie Tools Felon? 

If you’re looking for a kick-ass original monster Bowie, yes.

But understand that this thing is not a camp knife, a trail knife, or kitchen slicer. It is the ULTIMATE version of all of them!

What it lacks in finesse, it more than makes up for in stopping power and chopping ability. The clip point is elegant (though false-edged), but shouldn’t be used for menial tasks like opening letters or spreading butter. It CAN chop your veggies, but is more comfortable with your firewood.

You want balance? Go see Cirque Du Soleil. You’ll be holding a whole sharpened kilo of forward-heavy steel with a fat-ass handle, and a ton of pride about being the diesel truck of big Bowies.

No apologies asked. None given.

Pick One Up HERE before they send this bull out to pasture.

Knife, Not Cleaver! 

“But wait…” you sputter. “I like a lighter, more-balanced blade that isn’t a total behemoth on my belt. Where then do I look?”

Couple years ago, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I knew next to nothing about hand-crafted knives, except that there were the hotness. But today, after much meandering around Facebook groups and official indoctrination into a hobby that promises to 100% break my bank account, I can be your guide.

Let’s chat about The Dark Timber Brotherhood & Work Tuff Gear.

What is the Dark Timber Brotherhood?
 

Sounds like a knife cult doesn’t it? Well, that’s because it kind of is. But, in all the best ways. LOL.

Lead by sword saint-in-training and Blade Show regular, Peter Kohler, this Facebook-Only Collective of knife lovers and all-around good guys and gals talks shop, compares models, showcases their collections of nearly-impossible to get DTKs with verve and flourish, and attracts new members every day.

The secret to Peter’s success, and the success of the DTB lies not only in the solid, hand-crafted, American-forged quality of all of the Dark Timber Knives, but also the transparency, openness, and leadership of the group.

Peter forges them. Puts all of his forging, sharpening, and knife talks on Facebook live. Lets people comment, either online or at the DTB events held in southern states twice-a-year. It’s a whole scene.

But more than that, brothers (and sisters) of the group talk and act on their acceptance and appreciation of the other members of the group. They ask for and exchange prayers. They fund each other if they lose big in life. They help one another in a variety of different ways and do it with a smile.

I am as much a fan fan of that as I am of all of their beautiful knives.

Dark Timber Knives: The OG Grizzly & The Honey Badger 

All that comradery is great and all, but the foundation is the knives. That’s why we are here.

Do they stack up to the modern demands of today’s roughneck/knife nuts alike? In my estimation, with flying colors:

Grizzly:

Honey Badger:

How Do I Get a Dark Timber Knife? 

Gorgeous as they are, there is a matching desire for these things that mirrors that beauty. What is more, there are only a few ways to pick up your own DT pig sticker, and all of them involve a decent chunk of change, quick clicking keyboard fingers, or both:

• Custom Order: The fastest and most direct way to get one, but also the most expensive, you can always order your DTK by talking to Peter directly. Knives can generally cost $1000+, so be ready to part with your long-saved Bar Mitzvah cash from grandma.
  
  
• Purchase One during “The Drop”: When Peter creates a batch of steel beauties, he reaches out to his contacts at BladeHQ and KnivesShipFree and sets a date for when these knives will be in stock and available for purchase.

          This is called “The Drop.” It is the most sacred day(s) of the              year to the brothers and sisters of the Brotherhood.

          Now, you CAN simply add a knife to your cart and proceed to              check-out, but here’s the trick: everyone will be doing exactly            the same thing at the same time. You could add a couple rare            knives to your online tote, go to pay, and BAM! Cart sniped.                You’ve lost your knife and your chance to show it off. It’s                    tough, but so are these blades.

          Gut wrenching reality is: everyone wants one and EVERYONE              will be there.

• Head to the BLADE Show: Every year, in Georgia, the blade community holds a gathering where all of the best blade sellers and forgers come together to showcase their wares. It’s lovingly and aptly-named: BLADE Show. Peter, his followers, and fellow blade merchants attend to give everyone their shot at glory. Show up cash in-hand (so I have heard) and go home happy.

Bottom line is the knives, and the company, speak for themselves. They are among the best I have ever seen, and appeal to me on so many different levels - both personally and aesthetically. The light metallic skeleton, the blade shape, the customization options for the hilt scales, the full-tang construction - it’s just everything. 

I know there are A MILLION different knife companies and forgers out there - each bringing their own appeal to everyone - but these are for me (when I can afford them and not get cart sniped trying to get one). Call me a fan boi I guess.

(SHRUG)

Work Tuff Gear Knives 

If Dark Timber is at the top of the Stateside market for forging and selling stunning fixed-blade knives, Work Tuff Gear is coming from overseas to give them a run for their money.

Based in Taiwan, this forge has almost all of the looks and metal toughness of DTK, but with the regular availability of a ubiquitous merchant on the rise. Not only do they have their own shop on their website AND AMAZON for a good number of models, but their exquisite knives - even the much sought-after Nomad - are almost always in-stock and ready-to-ship!

Like an affordable appetizer to the main course (for now), I cannot recommend, HIGHLY enough, the sturdy pro construction of a Work Tuff to ready your fist for your first DTK.

Honorable Fixed Blade Mention: Norse Hunting Knife, Viking Styles
 

I would be remiss without a mention of the Norse Bear-Themed Hunting Knife from Viking Styles in my pantheon of belt hangers. I haven't seen this blade broken down to bare bones, but I can say, with confidence, that I have carried it into the woods and used it without issue, incident, or complaint.

Not only will these blades serve for whatever tasks you need round the campsite, their decorative aspects leave nothing to be desired in terms of aesthetics and overall Norse appeal.

Bear’s head pommel? Check.
Attractive up-swept curving blade design? Roger that.
Intricate s-shaped fullers for light, fast blade handling? Right on.

Though it is stainless steel (as most knives are), I would wager it would gut a stag, cut rope, whittle kindling, or perform to almost any level you needed with admirable ease. Plus, their company offers constant, honest communications and lightning-fast shipping, worldwide.

So there we have it. If you love fixed blades as much as I do, you can’t really go wrong with any of the choices above. Research your state’s unique knife carry laws, always cut away from your own hands (seriously), and respect the power of gorgeous life and death you hold in your hands.

Snicker Snack! Functional Fantasy Swords & SBG's Vorpal Blade

When it comes to swords, fantasy CAN be functional.

I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. I even prefer it.

Best of all, forges and companies within the sword community can do it too and are beginning to see the value in dipping their collective toes.

They know there is a market for it, but for a very specific buyer. This person is into all the tropes - anime, LOTR, video games, various fantasy literature titles and genres, and may be willing to pay through the nose to get their hands on the brands that have sent their favorite big bads hurtling into the abyss, time and time again.

But for all the market share that they might be getting access to, for some reason, they still tend to avoid making high-quality functional fantasy pieces (there’s a ton of dangerous fantasy trash out there) on a massed-produced scale. Fantasy swords now generally come in the forms of  COMMISSIONS with lengthy waits and high price tags.

Why?

Well, in my estimation, fantasy designs denote fantastical elements that are the most sought after elements by collectors, but also the most difficult to pull off - especially when it comes to one-shot forging with liquid-hot casting metals:

• Bronze/Steel Cast Pommels/Guards with Animal Motifs
• Weird Angles For Quillons & Crossguards
• Curved, Elongated, Leaf-shaped, Flared, or Just Over-Balanced Blade Shapes
• Exotic Grip Colors & Wrap Materials
• Spacers, Engraving & Nordic Runes
• Double & Triple Fullers
• Overall A-Historical Design Elements
• And all that...

There is A LOT that goes into pulling off a well-made fantasy sword and each piece is by in large, completely unique.

Fantasy Function + Form
Additionally, makers’ fantasy designs not only have to have the look, they have to have the evidence, and if possible reputation, for stability, rock-solid construction, and functionally. Their name needs to have the ability to cause that transcendent moment when said fan boi (me) actually opens their wallet, stops salivating over the dream of ownership, and becomes a paying customer and collector.

In short, here has to be PROOF that the sword is put together in a way that it won’t let you down in...um...battle. That means videos, pictures, anecdotal accounts from clients, all before the sword even goes out. Artists have to be DOCUMENTING the process at almost every stage - showing tang construction, specifically.

Along with bringing balance, notoriety, and regular business to the fantasy sword market, forges, retail sellers, and even sellers on the secondary/pre-owned markets are also, shockingly JUST starting to come around on showcasing the pre-build components, construction, and testing of their fantasy sword designs in real time (and not...ahem...lying about it, which is unfortunate) and outside of forums.

In our age of Tik Tok, YouTube, Instagram, and other advanced media outlets, craftsmen and salespeople are starting to realize (or being forced to) that that so-sought-after moment doesn’t come without transparency.

The “Show Me” Sword Movement
It’s the motto that I live by as a collector.

When seriously purchasing what I assume to be functional fantasy blades, “Show me” has always been my MO with almost every vendor I work with. And I am not alone.

I see that desire, shared by legions of functional fantasy collectors, showcased in places like SBG, Facebook, and other places where fantasy sword nerds (like me) gather.

People want to see these things almost torture-tested against more than water just bottles. They need:

• Nodes Of Percussion Palm Slaps
• Hilt Construction Specifics
• Steel Types
• Gel Torso Cutting
• Branch Bashing (Please Don’t Unless You’re Skall and Even Then...)
• And More...

They’re doing their due diligence by watching countless cutting, Fiore, and Talhofer videos, as the prices aren't going down, and that’s all to the good.

When forges adopt that transparency, and can pull it off b/c their products have those prerequisites, they can hit it big:

WITCHER SWORDS BY KAER MORHEN FORGE CAN BARELY KEEP UP

The STUNNING works that these brilliant people create cause plugged-in buyers - whether they have read the Silmarillion or otherwise - to absolutely pay all their gold in their coin purse to get their hands on these steely works of art and showcase them proudly for serious community cred:

The SBG Vorpal Sword
So when Paul Southern of the Sword Buyer’s Guide (SBG), whom, I have been following for over a decade (some of you even longer than that, I am sure), decided to bring the pieces from his now-hiatus’d WEB COMIC SERIES to life, I was 100% in.

Scrolling through all of the models, I knew I needed something that was:

• Cruciform-Shaped
• Modeled In The Western European Style
• Two-Handed
• Under $1000

After much drooling over snake-slicing scimitars with wild curves, modern fantasy gladii, and even a blade forged for angels by angels, I landed on:

THE SBG VORPAL SWORD

This BEAST of a weapon had everything - the right length, proper weight for a longsword, straight clean design elements, a color scheme I could love, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, a clear FORGING STORY and FUN LORE that made it something special.

I waited (I rarely buy swords full price, sorry not sorry). Price dropped after a time right before it was gone forever. I snatched it up.

I couldn’t have been happier if I had been standing at the forge myself , banging away with the hammer to bring this thing to life:

Snicker Snack: The Body & Handling of the Vorpal

Length: 35 Inches (Overall)
Weight: 2.5 lbs
Blade: 5160 Spring Steel (Hollow Ground & Spring Tempered)
Oakeshott Inspiration: XVIIIc
Hilt Components: Brass Pommel, Spacer, Wood
Tang: Full. Peened.

Handling:
She drives like a Ferrari!

Strong, sharp, well-put together - she glides through targets easily and earns the time-honored reputation of her longsword kin.

The Blade

Couple of things about the cutting: with the sharpening treatment that came from SBG, she is sharpest in the section just about the ricasso and the middle of the blade. As the blade tapers and narrows up towards the tip, it is not as sharp for me and loses a small amount of cutting power.

The Grip & Pommel
Also, if you aren't careful, the Fleur De Lis-shaped pommel can dig into the side of your hand (much like the VIKING-INSPIRED FANTASY SWORD I own when in hammer grip), though I am sure that is totally the way I am swinging it. I am sure if I don't let my hands slide down the grip, and just grip her tightly - the way she likes it lol - it wouldn't be an issue.

Color Customization
Would I recommend it? Absolutely! I would also talk to Steve Huerta at STEVE HUERTA CUSTOM LEATHER WORKS about customization, as I have seen some stunning RED and MIDNIGHT versions of this sword that completely blew me away.

Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll
Oh, and just for fun, here’s the Lewis Carroll Poem about the sword:

“Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

‘Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!’

He took his VORPAL SWORD in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought —
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood a while in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One two! One two! And through and through
The VORPAL BLADE went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

‘And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’

He chortled in his joy.
‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.”